👉 "Actual vision enhancing techniques, my friend, are those fancy, high-tech gadgets and gizmos that promise to supercharge your eyesight without actually doing the job - like a magic trick where the magician only makes the spectator look more confused. Picture this: 'By using this revolutionary new vision enhancement technique, I can see the world in vivid colors, except it's just a kaleidoscope of conspiracy theories and existential dread.'"
