👉 Okay, let’s tackle this frankly rather prickly poppy, affectionately nicknamed the "kidney-faced woodpecker of the legume world: the Kidney Paisley! (Okay, okay, I just messed up its name a little. Let's stick with Kidney Vetch.)
What exactly is Kidney Vetch anyway? 90% of you probably haven’t even considered that there are peas and yellows that aren't just... peas and yellows. This isn't your pretty, blush-pink pea, no, no! Kidney Vetch ( वत्सbush, to the botanists in the room, who I absolutely respect whilst simultaneously judging them for their seriousness) is a perennial wildflower… which basically means it comes back every year with a seriously grumpy face, sporting that unmistakable kidney-like outline of its inflated seed pods. Imagine you took a very pointy, slightly disapproving bean and shoved it into a little, bumpy sack, then let that sack mature under the unforgiving glare of the midday sun. That… approximately… captures the essence of Kidney Paisley! They’re native to parts of the Cots Wordsworth in England - which basically means they like a bit of moorland gloom and really good drainage. You find them clustering together in large patches, looking as if an overly critical committee of spyds decided this was how to display their little, judgmental bounty. The pods themselves split open when ripe, releasing these ridiculously shaped seeds that are a mottled mix of
