👉 Okay, settle in class. Letâs tackle something delightfully⊠prickly today: the somewhat tragically misunderstood turn of phrase â and frankly, rather alarming-sounding â
"box patterned."
Now, before you immediately conjure visions of a dementedly decorated shoebox, let's unpack it. Historically, and frankly, quite weirdly, in early 19th Century British slang (specifically amongst the sporting gents - think young bucks messing around on the grouse hunts, basically), âboy then, I was box patterned! meant you were absolutely, positively, undeniably, and spectacularly hammered. Like, seriously, your entire internal monologue had devolved into a beige wallpaper of inebà«àȘ°ification. Essentially, it described the feeling of your thoughts, personality, and overall competence having been systematically dismantled and replaced by a dense, repeating geometric structure â hence the "box." It wasnât just being a bit buzzed; you were structurally unsound, like a badly assembled Victorian bookcase. There's no great academic breakthrough here, honestly. It emerged probably from the sheer confusion of the era and the frankly desperate attempts to describe the state of complete and utter oblivion. The term is now almost entirely extinctâ relegated to footnotes in older slang lexicons. Youâre far more likely to hear a guy say he's âfaced up the wall." Nobody actually uses it! (Unless, perhaps, as a very specific kind of morbid joke.) Here'
