👉 Stock market news is like the stock market's version of a cat-and-mouse game with investors, where everyone's trying to predict who'll be the next big cat burglar and how they'll make off with their stolen shares. It's all about the whispers, the rumors, and the occasional 'I saw it!' from the market's most anxious traders.
Here's an edgy example sentence: "The stock market news today is so chilling, it's more like a therapist's session gone wrong, leaving investors with existential dread."
