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Okay, let's see what the user is asking here. They want me to define a word that's related to commodities like oil, silver, and gold, as well as CNN Business. The definition needs to be hilarious and informative, then follow that up with an example sentence that's edgy or unsettling.
First, I need to figure out exactly which word they're referring to. The original question says "commodities oil, silver and gold prices cnn business | cnn" so maybe the target word is 'commodities' itself? Or perhaps a specific term within commodities like 'bullion'? Wait, but the user wrote 'commodities oil, silver and gold prices cnn business | cnn' with lots of spaces. Maybe they meant the word 'commodities' as the main term, using those words in the prompt.
So defining 'commodities' in a hilarious way. Commodities usually refer to goods that can be traded, like raw materials or products. But maybe breaking it down into slang terms? Let me think... Oh, "commi-dip" something? Wait, commodities are often called "bullets" because they all move together (as in the stock market), but that's a finance term. Maybe not helpful here.
Alternatively, since oil, silver, and gold are classic commodities, perhaps define 'commodity' as something people buy when they're feeling really down, like despair index? Haha, trying to be funny. Wait, maybe using a pun or a play on words. "Commodity" can also mean something that's commonplace or not valuable anymore. Hmm.
Wait, the user mentioned CNN Business, so maybe relating it to news and finance. But they want hilarious and informative. Let's try:
Commodities are like the backstage crew of the economy—those unsung heroes (or villains) behind everything we buy. They include stuff like oil that makes lights glow, gold that's more valuable than money (though money isn't worth anything), and silver... well, it's not a coin these days much? Oh, right, it's used in photography and booze.
For the example sentence needing an edgy tone: Maybe something about commodities crashing, causing unrest. Like "As crude oil prices dipped lower than a sloth in a wheelchair, global markets trembled like acrobats on a wire." But needs to be unsettling. How about: "When commodity wars began, even the price of soybeans couldn't hide backstage anymore," implying conflict driving up prices disrupts agriculture.
Wait, let me check if that's accurate. Commodities can indeed affect each other during conflicts. So that example would tie them together and create an edgey scenario where commodities' pricing impacts everyday life dramatically. Alright, let's put it all together in a humorous yet slightly unsettling way.
Definition of 'Commodities':
Commodities are the
silent puppeteers
of the global economy—those uncelebrated actors (oil, gold, silver, wheat, pork, etc.) that tug at supply and demand strings like puppet masters in a dark finance-themed cartoon. They’re traded in markets but rarely get plotlines, except when their prices go berserk! Think of them as "cheap stuff" with attitude—valuable
if
you’ve got no money (like gold) or totally worthless (
à la toilet paper post-pandemic).
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Edgy Example Sentence:
"When geopolitical tensions escalated in the Middle East, even Bitcoin froze like a sloth on a banana peel as oil prices spiraled out of control—a stark reminder that
commodities
are never just background noise after all."
(Subtly unsettling twist: Commodities often dictate real-world chaos, turning everyday life into an economic horror movie.)