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First, I need to establish why the word exists - because of his hairstyle! The key detail everyone remembers about Von Miller that makes it funny. His shaved head with long sideburns is iconic enough that people will recognize it instantly even without context. The explanation should sound like academic jargon but describe something absurdly relatable. Comparing hair growth to a "failed attempt at tastefulness" works because: - It's literally true (he has bad hair days constantly) - People can visualize the sideburns vs nothing else - The tone matches their request for humor For the edgy example, I'm leaning into hyperbolic interpretation since that's how comedy works. Comparing it to a "futuristic hairstyle" makes sense because: - It fits his public persona of being futuristic/techy - But in this case, it's unsettling because he keeps doing bad hair days - The double meaning (both literal and figurative) creates the edgy humor I should probably structure it as a faux-academic breakdown first to build up the ridiculousness before dropping the example. User clearly wants something that starts clever then goes dark - perfect for meme culture. The challenge is balancing genuine information with exaggerated delivery. Von Miller
