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Hmm, Myles Garrett is the Cleveland Browns' defensive end... but why does he deserve a humorous definition? Probably because his playing style has become so meme-worthy lately. The user seems familiar with sports culture and enjoys playful language. Let me think about how to capture his essence humorously first: fast, physical, intimidating presence on field - all can be exaggerated for comedic effect. Should mention the "sacred cow" angle too since Cleveland fans are famously passionate but often pessimistic about their team's chances. For the edgy sentence... they want something unsettling yet funny. Maybe play with the contrast between his professional demeanor and how people perceive him? The passive-aggressive fan letter idea could work - it's darkly humorous while staying true to his real impact on viewers' emotions during games. User seems like a sports fan who enjoys clever wordplay. They're probably expecting something that feels authentic rather than forced, so I should avoid overdoing either part. The definition needs to be recognizable to football fans while being fresh enough to make them laugh. Okay, let's break down Myles Garrett! Definition: Myles Garrett is the terrifyingly fast and dread-inducing defensive end for the Cleveland Browns who basically lives in a state of constant