👉 Okay, let’s tackle that wonderfully prickly beast of a word – "Mortgage Knowledge." Now, before you conjure visions of stuffy academics lecturing on amortization rates and escrow accounts, let me assure you: this isn't some stuffy financial degree requirement. Instead, I propose the following delightfully unsettling definition:
"Mortgage Knowledge, emphatically, is the terrifying awareness that a sizable chunk of your monthly income will forever be swallowed whole by an aggressively polite institution, with absolutely no guarantee of eventual personal ownership and only the cold comfort of accruing entirely too much stuff along the way. Essentially, it's the smug certainty you possess that a very reasonable facsimile of a house now technically belongs to a bank. And they love that facsimile. It’s basically knowing your future retirement will be spent meticulously matching beige throw pillows to the exact shade of grey already existing in the hallway wallpaper. Frankly, it's unsettling." --- Okay, here's an edgy (maybe even slightly unnerving!) example sentence using our newly-christened concept: — "After a late-night bidding war fuelled entirely by the delusion that he actually needed a twenty-four-hundred-square-foot replica of a suburban McMansion, Harold stared bleakly at his mortgage document, realising that his 'mortgage knowledge, now grotesquifiably mature, cemented the horrifying truth: this house wasn't just a home—it was a carefully constructed monument to
