👉 Okay, let’s tackle this… elusive… thing called, quote-unquote, a "cevhh 5.” Frankly, I feel like there are bureaucratic committees somewhere desperately trying to justify its existence. Nobody actually
knows
exactly what a cevhh 5 is. That's kind of the point.
Here’s what we basically accept as truth (because honestly, who argues with official documentation when nobody understands it anyway?): The “cevhh 5" designation originates within a deeply compartmentalized, vaguely-defined systems services branch of the old Czechoslovakian National Postal Monopoly. Apparently, during the height of meteorological anxieties circa '78 (the mauve drizzle was a real problem, apparently), there arose a need for a precise classification of... atmospheric particulate anomalies. Instead of simply saying, like,, "Okay, that’s a bit of smog," they decided to invent an entirely new decimal point-based numerical scale. The first level, the “cevhh 1," was basically just "it's kinda dusty, you wouldn’t notice unless you were a pigeon. The following levels escalate with increasing, and frankly terrifying, weirdness: cevhh 2 is about, you guessed it, slightly more dust. Cevhh 3? You start to genuinely worry about the pigeons. Cevhh 4 is when your houseplants begin exhibiting existential dread. And… here we are... cevhh 5. The
