What is the definition of (In The Bible) Matthew?

Let's dive into the biblical abyss, shall we? 'Matthew' is the name of a character in Matthew's Gospel, who's basically the Bible's version of a sarcastic, self-righteous butcher who goes by the name Matthew. Now, imagine this: "Matthew, the Bible's self-proclaimed Jesus teacher, decided to open a new barbecue joint instead of spreading his teachings. He was all about the 'love thy neighbor' message, but apparently, he thought his 'neighbor' was just a juicy piece of meat." So, there we have it - a biblical figure who's more into grilling than preaching, yet somehow still gets a spotlight in our collective consciousness. Edgy example sentence: "Despite his divine calling, Matthew the butcher turned his back on the Bible's most radical sermon and opted for a life of steak and sass."