A handpicked collection of wild, absurd, and laugh-out-loud profanity definitions and pronunciations — for your chaotic curiosity, twisted education, and pure entertainment.

Definition: The third, Absalom the son of Maachah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur: the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith:

Explanation: Okay, let’s break down this passage from 1 Chronicles 3:2. It’s a bit complex, but I'll explain it in plain language. The Basic Idea: This verse is about the royal family of Israel – specifically, the kings of Judah and Jerusalem. It describes three sons of three different families. Let’s unpack it word by word: “1 Chronicles 3:2” : This tells us this is a section within the book of Chronicles, which was written during the time of King David's reign. “The third…” : This refers to the third son mentioned. “…Absalom the son of Maachah the daughter of Talmai…” : This is the first son. His name is Absalom. He’s the son of a woman named Maachah, who was from a family called Talmai. “Maachah” is a place name in ancient Israel. “…the fourth…” : This refers to the fourth son. His name is Adonijah. He's the son of Haggith. “Haggith” is a name associated with a particular family line. Putting it all together – What’s happening? This verse describes three kings in a very short succession: Absalom: He was a young, rebellious, and often difficult son. He was the one who caused trouble and wasn't considered to be of true leadership. Adonijah: He was a young man seeking favor and power. He asked to be king, which is a significant challenge for the established rulers. Haggith: This is a younger son, perhaps a bit more humble and less ambitious than his brothers. Important Context (What's being said about them?) This verse isn’t necessarily about who they are or what they do. It’s more about the status of these royal families in ancient Israel. It highlights that there were multiple lines of succession and that the kingdom was not always perfectly stable. The text suggests a pattern of conflict and challenges within the royal family. In essence, this verse describes a brief period of kingship and potential turmoil in the lineage of Israel. --- Do you want me to: Explain why this verse is significant (historically or symbolically)? Give you a more detailed explanation of any of these individuals? Talk about what this verse might suggest about the nature of kingship?

Definition: And his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so? and he also [was a] very goodly [man]; and [his mother] bare him after Absalom.

Explanation: Okay, let’s break down this verse from 1 Kings 1:6. It’s a really important passage about David’s early life and God’s plan for him. Here's the explanation in simple terms: The Basic Idea: This verse describes a very young David as being incredibly loved by God, and that love is reflected in his parents’ care and blessing. Let’s break it down word-by-word: “And his father had not displeased him at any time…” – This means that God consistently favored and protected David from the start. He wasn't facing any challenges or hardships, and he was always given blessings. “…in saying, Why hast thou done so?” – This is a question. It’s like asking why someone is behaving in a certain way. David was likely being scolded or annoyed by his father for some reason. The question implies that David wasn't doing anything wrong, but he was getting attention. “and he also [was] very goodly [man]” – This means David was exceptionally kind, gentle, and morally upright. The word “goodly” emphasizes this quality. He possessed a beautiful and positive nature. “and his mother bare him after Absalom.” – This is the crucial part! "Absalom" was a king who was exiled from Israel. The verse says that David’s mother, Abigail (who was a widow), gave birth to him after Absalom had been exiled. Putting it all together: Essentially, this verse tells us that God recognized David's inherent goodness and love from the very beginning. He wasn’t just blessed; he was favored and protected by his father, and his mother made sure he was nurtured and cared for, even while his father was dealing with a difficult situation. It highlights God’s unwavering care for his chosen people. Why is this important? This verse sets the stage for David's incredible journey as a king! It shows that God’s love isn’t just about protecting him physically; it’s about providing him with a moral foundation and guiding him towards righteousness. --- Do you want me to: Explain this verse in more detail? Connect it to a specific story or event in the Bible?

Definition: Then tidings came to Joab: for Joab had turned after Adonijah, though he turned not after Absalom. And Joab fled unto the tabernacle of the LORD, and caught hold on the horns of the altar.

Explanation: Okay, let’s break down this verse from 1 Kings 2:28 together. It’s a really important moment in the story of Israel's kingship. Here’s what it means, explained simply: The Core Story: Joab is Disappointed: The verse starts with Joab, one of King David’s most trusted commanders, feeling deeply unhappy and troubled. He had been loyal to Adonijah, a young man who was vying for the throne. Turning After Adonijah: Joab essentially abandoned his loyalty to Adonijah. He chose to follow Adonijah instead. This is a significant shift in power and leadership. Fled to the Tabernacle: Instead of continuing to serve David, Joab fled to the Tabernacle – which was God’s house – and became completely devoted to following Adonijah. He essentially went into hiding. Held by the Altar: The final part of the verse describes a really strange and dramatic thing that happened: Joab started holding onto the horns of the altar. This is symbolic, but it means he was being held captive – controlled – by Adonijah’s influence. What It Means (Symbolically): Loss of Faith & Loyalty: Joab's actions represent a loss of faith and loyalty to God and to David. He chose a different path than the one God intended for Israel. Submission to Evil: The altar represents a place of idolatry – worshiping false gods instead of worshipping God. Joab was being held captive by this temptation. A Warning about Temptation: This verse is often seen as a warning about the dangers of succumbing to temptation, especially when it comes from someone who isn't truly devoted to God. In short, it’s a story of a leader losing his way and being held captive by a powerful, potentially deceptive figure. --- Do you want me to: Explain another verse? Discuss the significance of this event in the context of Israel's history?

Definition: But shew kindness unto the sons of Barzillai the Gileadite, and let them be of those that eat at thy table: for so they came to me when I fled because of Absalom thy brother.

Explanation: Okay, let’s break down this verse from 1 Kings 2:7. It’s a really important and somewhat surprising passage about King David and his relationship with the people of Gilead. Here's what it means in simpler terms: The Basic Idea: This verse is about David showing compassion to the people of Gilead, who were under exile from Jerusalem due to Absalom’s rebellious behavior. It’s a crucial moment where David establishes a connection and offers them a place at his table. Let's unpack it piece by piece: "But shew kindness unto the sons of Barzillai the Gileadite..." – This is the key part. "Barzillai the Gileadite" refers to a group of people living in Gilead, a region near Jerusalem that was under exile. “Show kindness” means being generous and helpful to them. "...and let them be of those that eat at thy table: for so they came to me when I fled because of Absalom thy brother." – This is where it gets interesting. "Eat at thy table" means to share food, to participate in his life. “Absalom thy brother” was David’s younger brother who had rebelled against him and led the people of Gilead into exile. David, recognizing their need, offered them a place at his table. So, what does it all mean? This verse highlights several important points: David's Compassion: It shows David’s deep concern for his exiled people. He wasn’t just letting them live in the shadows; he was actively offering them a chance to be part of his life and community. Forgiveness & Reconciliation: It suggests that David recognized that Absalom's actions had led to exile, and he chose to offer forgiveness and reconciliation. He wasn’t holding a grudge; he wanted to create a connection with these people. A Shift in Power: This act of kindness was a strategic move for David. It allowed him to gather information about the situation without being detected by Absalom, who was actively plotting against him. In short, this verse is a story of forgiveness, generosity, and a willingness to connect with people even when things were difficult. Do you want me to: Explain another part of the Bible verse? Discuss the context of this passage in more detail?

Definition: And after her he took Maachah the daughter of Absalom; which bare him Abijah, and Attai, and Ziza, and Shelomith.

Explanation: Okay, let’s break down this verse from 2 Chronicles 11:20. It's a bit complex, but we can understand it in simpler terms. Here's what it means: This verse tells us about a king named “Shema” (likely referring to King Absalom) who had a son named Maachah. After Absalom’s death, his son, Abijah, Attai, Ziza, and Shelomith, all took Maachah as their own. Let's unpack it: “And after her he took…” – This means that after Absalom died, his son, Abijah, began to take the children of Absalom as his own. “…Maachah the daughter of Absalom” - This identifies the specific child who was taken. “which bare him Abijah, and Attai, and Ziza, and Shelomith.” – This is the key part. "Bare him" means to make them his children. It describes a group of people – Abijah, Attai, Ziza, and Shelomith – who all became his heirs or descendants. What does this tell us about it? This verse is significant because it’s a warning about the dangers of ambition and seeking power through illegitimate means. It shows that someone could take advantage of a fallen king's children to gain influence and control. It highlights how power can be twisted, and how it can lead to conflict and instability. In short: This verse describes a situation where a king’s son took the children of his predecessor, establishing a lineage of rulers who were all connected to him. --- Do you want me to: Explain another Bible verse? Give more context about this story?

Definition: And Rehoboam loved Maachah the daughter of Absalom above all his wives and his concubines: (for he took eighteen wives, and threescore concubines; and begat twenty and eight sons, and threescore daughters.)

Explanation: Okay, let’s break down this verse from 2 Chronicles 11:21. It’s a really important and somewhat troubling passage about leadership and ambition. Here's what it means in simpler terms: The Basic Idea: This verse describes a king who was incredibly obsessed with marrying a woman named Maachah, to the point where he prioritized her above all his other wives and concubines. It’s essentially saying he was completely consumed by love for her. Let's unpack it further: “And Rehoboam loved Maachah…” – This tells us who is involved. It refers to King Rehoboam, a king in the Book of 2 Chronicles. “…above all his wives and concubines” – This is the core of the problem. He was prioritizing her above everything else. This suggests he wasn’t just being fond of her; he was actively choosing her as his ultimate focus. “(for he took eighteen wives, and threescore concubines; and begat twenty and eight sons, and threescore daughters)” – This is where it gets a bit more complicated. The verse details the number of wives and concubines he had. It’s a staggering number – 18 wives and 30 concubines. It indicates a massive and potentially problematic amount of relationships. What's the significance? This is a warning about hubris (excessive pride) and ambition. King Rehoboam was so focused on his personal desires that he became reckless and foolish. He prioritized his own happiness and comfort over the well-being of his kingdom and people. His obsession with Maachah led to him making a terrible decision – he dismissed his advisors and refused to listen to their advice. Why is this a problem? It shows a lack of wisdom: Prioritizing one person over everyone else, especially when it comes to leadership, can lead to disastrous consequences. It highlights the dangers of unchecked ambition: This verse illustrates that being obsessed with personal desires can be destructive and ultimately harmful to those around you. Important Note: The Bible often uses imagery to show the consequences of bad behavior. In this case, the verse suggests that Rehoboam’s obsession with Maachah could have led to a breakdown in his kingdom. --- Do you want me to: Explain another part of 2 Chronicles? Discuss the context surrounding this verse (like the story of the prophet Nathan)?

Definition: And the king of Assyria sent Tartan and Rabsaris and Rabshakeh from Lachish to king Hezekiah with a great host against Jerusalem. And they went up and came to Jerusalem. And when they were come up, they came and stood by the conduit of the upper pool, which [is] in the highway of the fuller’s field.

Explanation: Okay, let’s break down this verse from 2 Kings 18:17 together. It’s a pretty dramatic passage about a devastating attack coming from Assyria. Here's a simplified explanation: The Basic Situation: Assyrian Invasion: The verse describes a massive invasion by the powerful kingdom of Assyria – a nation known for its military might and brutality. Three Groups Sent to Hezekiah: Assyria sent three groups of people – Tartan, Rabsaris, and Rabshakeh – specifically to King Hezekiah of Judah. These were all highly trained and skilled warriors. A Huge Army: They brought a huge army with them, enough to overwhelm the defenders of Jerusalem. They Went Up and Stood Nearby: The Assyrian army marched up to Jerusalem and stood near a specific point – the upper pool of water in the highway of the fuller’s field. What's Happening - It’s About a Huge Storm: The key part is what happens next: “And they came and stood by the conduit of the upper pool, which [is] in the highway of the fuller’s field.” This is where it gets really significant. Conduit of the Upper Pool: The "conduit" refers to a specific part of the water – likely a channel or opening within the pool itself. Fuller’s Field: This refers to a large, expansive area of farmland. It's a vast and fertile field that stretches far into the distance. The Meaning - A Massive Storm is Coming: This verse describes a massive storm – a terrible, overwhelming storm – being unleashed upon Jerusalem. The Assyrians were deliberately setting this up as a way to punish Hezekiah’s people. In simpler terms: Assyria was planning an enormous attack on Jerusalem. They sent three powerful groups to prepare for it and positioned themselves near the water in the farmland, intending to create a huge storm that would destroy everything. Important Note: This is a very dramatic passage filled with symbolism. It's not just about physical violence; it’s a warning about God's judgment against those who oppose him and his people. --- Do you want me to: Explain any of these parts in more detail? Discuss the context of this verse within the larger story of the Old Testament? Explore what this verse might mean for our understanding of God's justice or His plan for Israel?

Definition: And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name [was] Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

Explanation: Okay, let’s break down this passage from 2 Samuel 13:1. It’s a bit about a tricky situation in King David's family. Here’s what it means in simpler terms: Basically, it describes a conflict between two brothers: Absalom: This is the son of David, and he was known for being rebellious and causing trouble. He wanted to be treated like a king, which wasn’t right according to tradition. Tamar: This is Absalom's sister. She was a beautiful woman, and she was very attached to Absalom. Amnon: This is the son of David, and he had a strong affection for Tamar. He was known for being jealous and trying to cause problems for her. The key part is that they were both vying for the same person – Tamar. It’s like two people desperately wanting the same prize. What's happening next? The verse says that after this, Absalom had a fair sister named Tamar and Amnon loved her. This suggests there was a struggle or a disagreement between them. In short, it tells us about a conflict between two brothers who were both interested in the same woman. Important Note: This story is often interpreted as a warning about the dangers of jealousy and pride, and how it can lead to trouble. It highlights the importance of humility and seeking God’s guidance. --- Do you want me to: Explain why this story is significant? Discuss what this verse might mean in terms of human nature (like jealousy)? Give you a more detailed explanation of the context of the story within the Bible?

Definition: And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he [is] thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.

Explanation: Okay, let's break down this Bible verse together. It’s a really important and somewhat complex passage about betrayal and forgiveness. Here’s the explanation in simpler terms: The Basic Story: This verse comes from the Book of 2 Samuel, which tells about a time when Absalom, the son of King David, was deeply unhappy with his brother Tamar. Tamar was forbidden to marry anyone except for her brother, and she secretly began to have relationships with other men. Let's unpack it: “And Absalom her brother said unto her…” – This sets up the problem. It’s Absalom who is expressing her concern. “…Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee?” – This is the core of the question. “Amnon” was a male friend of Absalom's. The verse asks if Amnon, his brother, has been with him. It’s a serious accusation! “but hold now thy peace, my sister: he [is] thy brother; regard not this thing.” – This is the crucial part. The woman (likely Tamar) tells Absalom to not react strongly to Amnon's presence. She says, “He is your brother; look past this.” This is a warning and a plea for her to remain calm. “So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.” – This is the consequence of the verse. Tamar chooses to stay alone and heartbroken, feeling abandoned and unloved. She remains sad and isolated because she's not receiving the affection and connection she craved. What does this mean? It’s about forgiveness and reconciliation: This passage highlights a difficult situation where betrayal leads to pain. It speaks of: Betrayal: Amnon's actions are seen as a betrayal of trust and love. Forgiveness: The woman urges Tamar to not be consumed by anger or bitterness. It’s about releasing her sadness and moving on. Redemption: The verse suggests that Tamar's choice to remain desolate is a result of the pain caused by the betrayal, and perhaps a sign of her own need for healing and forgiveness. In essence, this verse is about acknowledging wrongdoing, choosing peace over anger, and recognizing the possibility of reconciliation even after a painful situation. --- Do you want me to: Explain a specific part in more detail? Connect this passage to other Bible stories or themes? Give you a different perspective on the meaning?

Definition: And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Explanation: Okay, let's break down this passage from 2 Samuel 13:22. It’s a really important and somewhat dramatic section in the story of Absalom and Amnon. Here’s what it means in simple terms: The Basic Situation: Absalom is angry: The verse starts with Absalom, who was King of Israel, feeling deeply unhappy about something that happened to his brother, Amnon. He hates Amnon: He doesn't just dislike Amnon; he loves it. He’s incredibly bitter and resentful. Because of a forced act: The core of the problem is that Absalom forced Tamar, his sister, to be sexually intimate with Amnon. This was a terrible thing, and Absalom considers it a huge betrayal. Putting It All Together - A Simple Explanation: Absalom’s anger is fueled by a specific event – he forced Tamar to have sex with Amnon. He's not just annoyed; he feels deeply wronged because of this action. His hatred for Amnon is a powerful, angry feeling stemming from the injustice of what happened. What it suggests: Absalom’s pride: This verse shows that Absalom was incredibly proud and believed his actions were justified. He felt like he had to control things and punish someone. Amnon's betrayal: Amnon, by choosing to be with Tamar, betrayed Absalom’s trust and violated a sacred agreement (perhaps a promise or law). Important Note: This verse is part of a larger story about political conflict and the downfall of Absalom. It sets up a chain of events that ultimately leads to his exile and the collapse of his kingdom. --- Do you want me to: Explain another Bible verse? Tell you more about the context of this passage (like why it's important in biblical history)?